Meaningful Words

"How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!

-James Allen-

Excerpt from Everything Arises, Everything Falls Away

Dukkha sticks on the skin and goes into the flesh; from the flesh, it gets into the bones. It's like an insect on a tree that eats through the bark, into the wood, and then into the core, until finally the tree dies.

As we grow up, it gets buried deep inside. Our parents teach us grasping and attachment, giving meaning to things, believing firmly that we exist as a self-entity and that things belong to us. From our birth that's what we are taught. We hear this over and over again, and it penetrates our hearts and stays there as our habitual feeling. We're taught to get things, to accumulate and hold on to them, to see them as important and as ours. This is what our parents know, and this is what they teach us. So it gets into our minds, into our bones.

When we take an interest in meditation and hear the teaching of a spiritual guide, it's not easy to understand. It doesn't really grab us. We're taught not to see and do things the old way, but when we hear this, it doesn't penetrate our hearts.

So we sit and listen to teachings, but it's often just sound entering the ears. It doesn't get inside and affect us. It's like we're boxing, and we keep hitting the other guy but he doesn't go down. We remain stuck in our self-view. The wise have said that moving a mountain from one place to another is easier than moving the conceit of self-view, this solid feeling that we really exist as some special individual.

We can use explosives to level a mountain and then move the earth. But the tight grasping of self-conceit—oh man! Our wrong ideas and bad tendencies remain so solid and unbudging, and we're not aware of them. So the wise have said that removing this view and turning wrong understanding into right understanding is about the hardest thing to do.

For us who are worldly beings (putthujana) to progress on to being virtuous beings(kalyanajana) is not easy. A putthujana is one who is thickly obscured, who is dark, who is stuck deep in this darkness and obscuration. The kalyanajana has made things lighter. We teach people to lighten, but they don't want to do that, because they don't understand their situation, their condition of obscuration. So they keep on drifting in their confused state.

If we come across a pile of buffalo dung, we won't think it's ours and we won't want to pick it up. We will just leave it where it is, because we know what it is.

Such is what's good in the way of the impure. That which is evil is the food of bad people. If you teach them about doing good, they're not interested, but prefer to stay as they are because they don't see the harm in it. Without seeing the harm, there's no way things can be rectified. If you recognize it, then you think, "Oh! My whole pile of dung doesn't have the value of a small piece of gold!" and you will want gold instead; you won't want the dung anymore. If you don't recognize this, you remain the owner of a pile of dung.

That's the "good" of the impure. Gold, jewels, and diamonds are considered something good in the realm of humans. The foul and rotten are good for flies and other insects. If you gather fresh flowers, the flies won't be interested in them. Even if you tried to pay them, they wouldn't come. But wherever there's a dead animal, wherever there's something rotten, that's where they'll go. Wrong view is like that. It delights in that kind of thing. What's sweet-smelling to a bee is not sweet to a fly.

There were once two close friends. After they died, one was reborn among the gods of sensual enjoyment, while the other was born as a maggot in a pit of excrement.

The god was endowed with various powers, and recalling his dear friend from the past life, he used his clairvoyance to find him. He transported himself to the excrement pit and was able to get his friend to recognize him. They were joyful at meeting again.

The maggot asked the god, "So what's it like where you were reborn?"

The god said, "It's great! Nothing but pure enjoyment! Everything is clean and delightful. Whatever you wish for, it appears instantly. I hope you can go there with me."

But the maggot started crying, because he pitied his friend. "Listen," he said. "Life is so much fun right here. I play all day in this pit. I don't even have to wish for what I want to appear, because it's all right here. You really ought to stay."

· · ·

There is difficulty in practice, but in anything we undertake, we have to pass through difficulty to reach ease. In Dharma practice, we begin with the truth of dukkha, the pervasive unsatisfactoriness of existence. But as soon as we experience this, we lose heart. We don't want to look at it. Dukkha is really the truth, but we want to get around it somehow. It's similar to the way we don't like to look at old people, but prefer to look at the young and attractive.

If we don't want to look at dukkha, we will never understand dukkha, no matter how long we live. Dukkha is truth. If we allow ourselves to face it, then we will start to seek a way out of it. If we're trying to go somewhere and the road is blocked, we will think about how to make a pathway. Working at it day after day, we can get through. When we encounter problems, we develop wisdom like this. Without seeing dukkha, we don't really look into and resolve our problems; we just bear with them or pass them by indifferently.

My way of training people involves some suffering, because understanding suffering is the Buddha's path to enlightenment. He wanted us to see suffering, and to see its origination, its cessation, and the path that brings about cessation. This is the way out for all the awakened ones. If you don't go this way, there is no way out.

If we know dukkha, we will see it in everything we experience. Some people feel that they don't really suffer much. But practice in Buddhism is for the purpose of freeing ourselves from suffering, the unsatisfactoriness that pervades ordinary experience. What should we do not to suffer anymore? When dukkha arises, we should investigate to see the causes of its arising. Knowing that, we can practice to remove those causes. Then once we travel the path to fulfillment, dukkha will no longer arise. In Buddhism, this is the way out.

Opposing our habits creates some suffering. But generally, we are afraid of suffering, and if something will make us suffer, we don't want to do it. We are interested in what appears to be good and beautiful, and we feel that anything involving suffering is bad. But it's not like that. If there is suffering in the heart, it becomes the cause that makes you think about escaping. It leads you to contemplate. You will be intent on investigating to find out what is really going on, trying to see causes and their results.

Happy people don't develop wisdom. They're asleep. It's like a dog that eats its fill. After that it doesn't want to do anything. It can sleep all day. It won't bark if a burglar comes—it's too full and too tired. But if you only give it a little food, it will be alert and awake. If someone comes sneaking around, it will jump up and start barking. Have you seen that?

We humans are trapped and imprisoned in this world and have troubles in such abundance, and we are always full of doubt, confusion, and worry. This is no game. So there's something we need to get rid of. According to the way of spiritual cultivation, we should give up our bodies, give up ourselves. We have to resolve to give our lives to the pursuit of liberation.

If we speak the subtle Dharma, most people will be frightened by it. They won't dare to enter it. Even saying, "Don't do evil," most people can't follow this. So I've sought all kinds of means to get this across, and one thing I often say is, no matter if we are delighted or upset, happy or suffering, shedding tears or singing songs, never mind—living in this world, we are living in a cage. We don't get beyond this condition of being in a cage. Even if you are rich, you are living in a cage. If you are poor, you are living in a cage. If you sing and dance, you're singing and dancing in a cage. If you watch a movie, you're watching it in a cage.

What is this cage? It's the cage of birth, the cage of aging, the cage of illness, the cage of death. In this way, we are imprisoned in the world. "This is mine." "That belongs to me." We don't know what we really are or what we're doing. Actually all we are doing is accumulating suffering for ourselves. It's not something far away that causes our suffering, but we don't look at ourselves. However much happiness and comfort we may have, having been born we cannot avoid aging, we must fall ill, and we must die. This is dukkha itself, here and now.

The time we can be afflicted with pain or illness is always. It can happen at any moment. It's like we've stolen something: we could be arrested at any time because we've done that. That's our situation. We exist among harmful things, among danger and trouble; aging, illness, and death reign over our lives. We can't go elsewhere and escape them. They can come catch us at any time—it's always a good opportunity for them. So we have to cede this to them and accept the situation. We have to plead guilty. If we do, the sentence won't be so heavy. If we don't, we suffer enormously. If we plead guilty, they'll go easy on us—we won't be incarcerated too long.

When the body is born, it doesn't belong to anyone. It's like our meditation hall. After it's built, spiders come to stay in it. Lizards come to stay in it. All sorts of insects and crawling things come to stay in it. Snakes may come to live in it. Anything may come to live in it. It's not only our hall; it's everything's hall.

These bodies are the same. They aren't ours. We come to stay in and depend on them. Illness, pain, and aging come to reside in them, and we are merely residing along with them. When these bodies reach the end of pain and illness and finally break up and die, that is not us dying. So don't hold on to any of this, but contemplate clearly, and your grasping will gradually be exhausted.

By Ajahn Chah

Tears

Mistakes in Life

Some experience i gone thru. Making lots of stupid mistakes and repeat the same thing again and again. Thinking on something negative and after the incident, i think its ridiculous to think that way. Why? What happen to me? Am i having this Autistic sickness?? Oh gosh! I hope im not. But sometimes i have those symptom. What should i do?

Yes, i work as a Graphic designer. I am not creative in my work but i am creative in thinking and fantasy over things which is not happen YET. This cause me to have many problems to face. Once the problem trigger, the only thing i can react is thinking all the negative stuff and let go my anger to the opposite person. I will even tell out my ridiculous thinking to the opposite person. That makes the person get sick of me every time when such things trigger. Oh god!! What happen to me? I have no idea why!

Problems that occur  will lead to the failure in life or failure being myself. I need to change it but its hard. Will try more harder to achieve the changes. Why is this bad habits hard to 'throw' it away? When i got the chance to change myself to be a better, i tend lose it again. 2nd, 3rd, 4th, times and so on,  those chances i got i did not take it seriously and cherish the moment i have. Till the last chance i even destroyed it AGaiN! Yes, i know many of you will say im too much, its my fault! Yea, I know! I wish i got this chance again to really really REALLY change and push myself to be better (i mean it). Its for my own good and all these changes will lead me to have more happiness instead of depression. Oh come on girl!! Wake up!! (slap slap myself) 

I dont know, this time i am seriously thinking to have this PRECIOUS chance to totally make over myself. (as in make over my mind). I will make this happen. But as we know, many chances had given before and we let go those chances again and again. People will think another chance will be the same. Sighs.. I regret that did not appreciate it. Its the same concept as Telling Lies. People will not trust you anymore. What do you think?!

Have you ever done any mistake in your life? Do you feel regret after doing it? What will you do? What if chances had been given for many times to change, but you still did the same thing again and again? Please drop me a comment or if its too private to post it, just email me at  nawihs@gmail.com. Share your experience with me.

Something to share - How to Handle Jealousy!

How to Handle Jealousy

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit Many people feel jealous from time to time. Jealousy is easy to deal with, once you understand what it's teaching you. Here are some pointers on working through your emotions and feelings of jealousy.

Steps

1. Understand the emotions. Jealousy is a combination of fear and anger: fear of losing something and anger that someone is "moving in on" something that you feel belongs only to you.


2. Allow yourself to actually 'feel' emotions in a healthy way. When you start feeling jealous, ask yourself: Is it more fear-based or more anger-based? Recognize which part of your body is being affected. If you feel a dropping or clutching sensation in your stomach, it’s probably fear. If you feel a burning, tight sensation in your shoulders and jaw, then you’re likely feeling anger. You might also feel a combination of those sensations.


3. Communicate your feelings. Sharing your true feelings with someone without blaming them can create a deep sense of connection between the two of you and open up a dialogue about the path of your relationship. Use "I" instead of "you." Instead of saying, "You shouldn't have done that," say, "I felt terrible when that happened."


4. Identify what your jealousy is teaching you. Jealousy can alert you to what you want and what is important to you. If you’re jealous of someone talking to a friend of yours, personal relationships may be important to you. If you’re jealous about money, you may have an underlying need for security or freedom. Ask yourself, "Why am I jealous over this? What is making me jealous? What am I trying to keep? Why do I feel threatened?" When you begin to understand what makes you jealous, you can begin to take positive steps to maintain those things, without the cloud of negative emotion that accompanies jealousy.


5. Change any false beliefs that might cause jealousy. There are often false beliefs that underlie jealousy and fuel emotion. If you examine the belief, you can often eliminate the jealousy. Some common underlying beliefs are “Everyone is out to get my money” or “If this person leaves me, I won't have any friends.” Beliefs are changeable. If you change your belief, you change the way you feel. Choose to tell yourself a belief that is nurturing and supportive, and you’ll feel better. When you begin taking steps to creating a happy and fulfilling life for yourself, you will find the anger, the jealousy, and the fear will disappear. Don't listen to people who make you jealous.

 Tips

• Jealousy is not the same thing as love. Sometimes, people think that by feeling jealous about someone, they are loving them. Jealousy is not love; it’s the fear and anger of losing love. Jealousy disappears when you are truly loving yourself and others for whatever experience you’re having.


• Learn to be happy with yourself and what you have. Everyone is different, and each person has good and bad qualities. Realize that you have the potential to create a better future.


• Try to talk about your problems with someone. Perhaps you feel that these jealous tendencies are a private matter; then, you ought to anonymously ask an advice column or similar construct about your problem.


• Irrational jealousy usually stems from your own insecurities and low self-esteem. Address these issues first.


• Be happy for the other person. When you are jealous, you may think, "I like that; it would be nice to have that thing or experience." When you can be happy for another person's success and happiness, you allow positive feelings to flow into your life. Instead of being angry, congratulate the other person.

Warnings

• If jealousy in your relationship is leading to control or power struggles, it's a sign that there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Related wikiHows

• How to Identify if You Are in an Abusive Relationship


• How to Have a Healthy Relationship


• How to Tame a Free Spirit


• How to Not Be an Obsessive Girlfriend


• How to Maintain Romance


• How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work


• How to Get Over a Break Up


• How to Earn Friendships Back

Sources and Citations

• Advice and Examples on How to Cope With Jealousy Practical advice on how to deal with romantic jealousy.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Handle Jealousy. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is around the corner. Wonder what to get for your mummy?
This can help you! Its cheap and worth and its HEALTHY! Instead of getting something not useful and waste of money. :D

Introduce you the Bird Nest!



Consuming bird nest is good for everyone especially woman. It helps woman look younger and skin look smoother, cell growth, elderly people, the lungs and pancreas.

Bird's nests is also good for those who have just recovered from illness,old people and weak, who suffer from asthma and who are always catching the cold or influenza. Consuming bird's nest can help alleviate the trachea, smooth breathing, benefit the control of asthma, expel phlegm, recover vital energy and extend longevity. It is particularly effective for people who have sleep disorders, bronchitis, coughs or hangovers. Bird's nests also show obvious therapeutic effects to help moisturize and replenish the lung and clear away intestinal heat.

This is the best things to get for your mum even you buy for your mum, you and your family will get to eat those. So, benefit for your mum and yourself. Hahaha...  That's what i do all the time.  >_<

It only takes 2 hours for the whole process to cook. 

• 1 piece per person


• 45 minutes to soak the nest


• another 45 minutes to 1 hour to cook


• Reminder: Use warm water for both soak and cook.


• Add rock sugar or ginkgo seed (pak kor)

Its easy and simple! 

Wanna know the price its only RM380 for a box, one box got 5 pieces to 7 pieces. Depends on thickness of the nest and the grams. Hurry up! Leave me a message and i will reply you a.s.a.p!